Bastard Bunnies* & Sneaky Squirrels

On a slightly less adventurous note, I've recently taken up gardening, hoping that a few things might grow during Calgary's very short and unpredictable summer. Some might label this latest hobby of mine as part of the "aging process", but I prefer to think of it as "diversifying". I've never really lived anywhere long enough to have a garden, and usually my time is filled with sports & travel, so this really is a first for me.

I built two little garden beds, dug up all the wood chips and liner, filled them with dozens of bags of soil - which I very reluctantly purchased after discovering that it really is hard to find "free dirt" in or around Calgary. What has the world come to that I actually have to pay for dirt?!  I even cruised by a few construction sites, thinking those would be awesome dirt sources, but they put big orange fences around construction sites here, complete with signs about danger, trespassing, etc, blah, blah, blah. Seriously, not impressed. I added my compost (started last year), loads of coffee grounds, and some odorless cow manure (honestly, it really didn't smell, I checked) to the dirt, mixed it all up, and voila, perfect garden soil!

I impatiently waited until June to plant my little seeds, good thing too, because it snowed in May. Once the seeds were in the ground, I went out everyday to just stare at my garden bed, as if I was expecting a shoot to sprout up in front of my eyes, but like a watched kettle, the seeds were so very slow start. Although, the variety of potato I chose to plant seems to be a tree or shrub, I don't remember potato plants being so large on the farm... I don't even eat potatoes very often, yet that's the most successful veggie in my garden thus far.

There are a lot of rabbits and squirrels in my neighborhood. My friends warned me, they said I shouldn't expect much from my garden, because between the rodents (yes, bunnies are rodents) and the temperamental Calgary weather, I'd be lucky if anything survived.

I'm a Saskatchewan girl (by birth), and EVERYTHING grows in Saskatchewan (except tropical fruit of course). We had a massive garden, and everything just grew! We didn't fence it off, or even water it very often, weeding was sparse, but we always had way too many veggies to pick, wash, peel, and can or freeze. So really, how hard can a garden be?

There are no squirrels or rabbits in rural Saskatchewan (farmers shot them all), however metropolitan Calgary has an ABUNDANCE of said rodents, and I think it's against the law to shoot them. However... if they are trespassing and I am merely defending my property, isn't that ok? I don't have a gun, but I think I have a slingshot somewhere, and I used to be a pretty good shot, I think I could pick off a fat city squirrel.

All of you readers not from Calgary, don't be fooled, the squirrels here are not like the cute little brown ones you see in the forest, city squirrels are essentially a rat with a tail. Big, nasty, sunflower-eating rodents. Yes, I believe they are responsible for the destruction of 8 out of my 10 sunflowers. Them or the bastard bunnies, I'm not 100% sure, because they show up while I'm at work, but I now have tooth marks on my two last standing sunflowers, so maybe I'll run a DNA test to determine the species. 

I should probably put a fence around the entire garden bed, especially since the spinach and carrots are coming in nicely, but that would detract from the aesthetic appeal, so I've just fenced off the last standing sunflowers. They still might not survive, both stalks are nibbled halfway through, and I imagine the sneaky squirrels and bastard bunnies* will be slightly upset with my new fence, so who knows what they'll do next. I plan to spend the day on my lawn, laying in wait, to catch or at least scare the nibbles out of whatever sneaky rodent has been decimating my garden.

So, if any of my veggies survive the bunnies, squirrels, spiders, ants, wind, rain, and hail (snow?) of Calgary, you're welcome to come join me for a picnic, sometime around October... Bring your slingshots.


*Bunnies are by definition "bastards", so do not be offended by the label, I use the term in its truest form.